Jesus and Moses

Moses and Jesus are playing golf one day when they come up to a long hole with a water hazard crossing the middle of the fairway. Jesus tees his ball up and pulls out a two iron.

“You can’t make it over that hazard with a two iron,” says Moses.

Jesus replies, “Sure I can. Tiger Woods does it all the time.” So Jesus hits the ball. The two stand silently and watch as the white ball climbs effortlessly up, up into the crystal blue sky, hangs for a moment as if floating, and then falls down, down, plunk!

Right into the water hazard.

Moses walks down, parts the water and retrieves Jesus’s ball. As he brings it back up to Jesus he says, “See, I told you that you’d never make it over. You’re going to need at least a four wood.”

“Nonsense,” says Jesus. “If Tiger Woods can do it, so can I.” So Jesus hits the ball with the two iron again. Whack. Up, up, float, down, down, plunk!

Moses hikes down to the hazard, parts the water again, and retrieves the ball a second time. Returning it to Jesus, he says, “For goodness sake, just use a wood!”

“If he can do it, I can do it.”

“Suit yourself. But I’m not going down there to get your ball again.”

“That won’t be necessary,” says Jesus with quiet confidence. Whack. Up, up, float, down, down, plunk!

The two look at each other. Moses just smiles. So this time Jesus takes off down the fairway while Moses watches.

As Jesus is walking around on the top of the water, looking down between his feet for
his ball, a golfer from the party behind them walks up to Moses and asks, “Do you mind if we play through?”

“Might as well,” replies Moses. “Looks like we’ll be here for a while.”

“By the way,” comments the golfer, “who does that guy down there walking around on the water think he is, Jesus Christ?”

“No,” says Moses. “He thinks he’s Tiger Woods.”